Monday, March 25, 2013

What Do You Do When Life Drives You Nuts?

Once, in Lil Blume's communication class, we were given a peculiar exercise. From a long list of emotions, we had to circle all the ones we had felt in the past week. I remember it being quite revealing for those who don't usually pay attention to how they feel. If I were to do this exercise for the past 3 weeks, I would probably cover the entire negative side of the pallet, and probably most of the positive ones too. Yes, it`s been a roller coaster ride. What do you do when life drives you nuts?

Usually, I would play music. I played two shows last week and it definitely helped. Catching up with people at the show was really nice. Being on stage again always feels safe. It must sound strange but as I step into the limelight, exposed to all judgement, it tends to feel like retreating to a safe haven. A place where I can be myself, a place where the more honest you are, the brighter you shine. It`s like stepping foot in a parallel world, leaving your worries at the door. It's also a place where hard work almost always pays off.

Sometimes, though, music is not enough. If I`m too upset, I won`t have the energy to play or write right away. Today, though, I just needed to clean the house. As Paolo Coelho describes it so well in the Alchemist, cleaning the exterior somehow purges the interior as well. While I don`t enjoy cleaning, it never fails to improve my mood and calm me down. Maybe because cleaning brings fast and noticeable results. Less chaos probably also helps me feel less stressed. Perhaps cleaning is something that I know I can do successfully

After the music and the cleaning, the process usually ends in writing. Engraving the memory, with all its flaws and beauty, into a song, a lyric, or a melody. Remembering exactly how it felt so that those who hear it won`t have to be alone.

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