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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I Don't Know What It's Like To Be "Done"


A lot of people have been asking me "So! How does it feel to finally be done undergrad!" like it's supposed to be such a relief. I'm not sure why that is though. Undergrad was not such a dread for me. However, the truth is, I don't know what it feels to be "really done". I guess I do have more time for fun now that I did before, but I don't feel like I can forget the outside world and indulge in some time away just yet.

Right after my last exam, I went out with a friend to relax. It was a Thursday. On Monday, I was back to work catching up on hours I had missed to focus on studying. Two weeks of 8.5 hour workdays went by and it still didn't feel like it was over. Finally relieved from a full-time schedule, I started working on my website, as well as my resumes and cover letters. I had a few friends review them and I had all sorts of conflicting feedback, leading me back to the drawing board. I don't feel like I'm "done" yet. I think I'll feel "done" once I've sent the applications. Or maybe after I've done interviews. Or secured a job. Or NEVER?

Looking back, it seems like things are never done. Maybe I just don't take the time to be done. After high school I took IT courses to keep myself busy, I got my driver's license, and before I knew it, I was on a flight to Toronto. After my first year, I went home for summer and worked for an IT company, where I met really cool musicians. The next month, I was busy meeting with a label and producers, recording a single, and it was already time to go back to school. After my second year, I went home and recorded my first album, then came to Toronto to launch and promote it during fall and spring. The summer after that I did a CD release back home and raised money for charity, and also traveled to Asia before coming back to start my 12 month internship at Environment Canada.

At first it felt like everything would be a little calmer for a bit, with a 9-5 job and no homework. Then came the "new" place, dirty and full of creepy bugs. The breakup. The clubbing spree. Then the infamous heart failure. Surgery. Recovery. Almost time to go back to school again!

My last year at the University of Toronto has been a race against time trying to do as many things as I possibly could do well at the same time. I felt like any revenue would be a relief for my parents, so I accepted the offer to extend my internship as a part-time developer until my graduation. I also had to think of my next step. I considered grad school for a bit. Towards the end of spring, I realized that the MSc. A.C. was not financially reasonable at this point, so I'm pushing it down the stack of things to do in the future.


I also spent a great deal of time brainstorming over entrepreneurship opportunities with my "partner in crime". We went through a myriad of ideas, registered quite a few domains, even designed some interfaces, saw potential team members come and go, kept searching for THE vision. We have also registered with Stanford for a free online entrepreneurship course which is currently in progress (venture-lab.org). I believe we are getting closer to a defined vision and we might just get lucky this time.

In between meetings for the venture lab project, meetings for the new project, work, house chores, learning web programming, and job applications, it seems like my summer time is slipping through my fingers. My goal is to have all applications sent before this week and hopefully have a few interviews before I go on vacation. Luckily, I have great people to have a swim, fancy ice cream or watch movies with. I proud myself in the fact that I've caught up with a good number of movies since my last exam. The Dark Knight and Hulk are no longer strangers. Yey :)


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